Today for some reason, I'm just in a "mood".  All I want is the life I USED to have - minus the alcoholic abusive husband.  I miss my Expedition....loading all the kids in and just going for a ride - or having the money to hit the after Christmas sales.

All I wanted was a new bead for my bracelet, a Northface jacket and a pair of Ugg's.  Ebay-ing, Freecycling.

I just want something new, for ME.  I want to be greedy just once and splurge on myself for some brand new things and I just can't do it.  Mean while - SHE has MY house, MY husband and MY truck and pretty much all my belongings.  I have been glued to this damn computer all day trying to figure out HOW to make money because traditional job searching is doing NOTHING.  Thankfully it's a nice day so the boys can play outside but I still feel like I am neglecting them.  Time to call them in, snuggle up with a movie until their dad comes to get them.  I'm praying that FCC comes thru for me.  I don't know how else I am going to get a job without a vehicle. Today would have been perfect for a road trip to the Berkshires.  All I can hope is that by February vacation I have a vehicle - preferable an SUV - AND a job so I can do something with the kids. Altho I will have to check the calendar because I don't know if it's MY vacation with the kids or HIS.  I think we split them, I don't remember.

I DESERVE a normal life and so do my kids, whatever normal is - and I just can't seem to obtain it no matter what I do.